I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the Dance

"Suicide, Choices & 'The Dance' Part 2"
And I, I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I’d have had to miss the dance.
I have always enjoyed Garth Brooks, “The Dance,” but the song has new meaning now because it plays a small part in a special story of human tragedy and courage.
“I’m going to die!” were the first words of a young man, barely thirty who met me at the church. He had a rare form of cancer that along with other medical complications would make it impossible for him to survive more than a year… one year to live.
I didn’t know what to say? What mere words could possibly ease the pain and suffering this young man faced? For a while there was only silence amidst a backdrop of soft weeping.



His next statement sent a frosty chill down my spine. “I don’t know if I can face what is going to happen over the next few months. Maybe I should just end it all now!”
What would you say? What sort of advice would you give? Would it be so bad to allow this young man and others like him to prematurely end their life of suffering? Is it so terrible to permit a woman suffering with depression and facing enormous difficulties throw in the towel? Is suicide really such an awful option?
Emotionally you would be tempted to say, “Yes, suicide may be okay, but read on.”
The debate on “mercy-killing” and suicide is an intense one and should be continued, but a certain young man crying in a small church did not want to hear a discussion on the merits of suicide. He wanted some honest answers on how to face an extraordinary tragedy.
As a pastor, I’ve been asked, “Will God forgive someone who commits suicide.” Personally, I believe God can forgive anything but scripture itself says very little specifically about suicide probably because it wasn’t much of an issue in those days. It certainly is an issue today.
The prophet Isaiah writes: “If I walk in darkness without one ray of light...” (Isaiah 50:10)
Does walking in darkness without one ray of light describe this young man’s experience? Could it illustrate how my children’s mother felt? Darkness without a single ray of light anywhere? Could this be a signal that it may actually be tolerable to end it all?
Absolutely not! Read the rest of the verse: “If I walk in darkness without one ray of light… let me trust the Lord, let me rely upon God.” There is the key toward understanding God’s answer.
Suicide is never the right choice because it is the final denial of our trust in God. Yes, this young man faced the darkness of a cancer with no known cure. Yes, my children’s mother faced a darkness of personal difficulties combined with depression. But wait, life is not over yet! God is not through. Trusting the Lord and relying upon God may not be an easy answer but it does provide the definitive assurance of hope. Ultimately, hope is what we seek and fervently require.
“If I walk in darkness without one ray of light… in this story concerns two people, two choices and their consequences. One person chose to end her life’s journey at this point. What are the consequences of that decision?
Christine will miss seeing her daughter go to the Senior Prom and graduate from High School. She will never enjoy watching her son finish college. A mother will never witness a child’s wedding or the birth of a grandchild. Her suicide left a permanent injury in the hearts of her beloved children and all of her relatives and friends: A gaping wound that will never totally heal.
“If I walk in darkness without one ray of light… offers the same two choices but our young man found supernatural courage and chose to continue his life’s journey by trusting the Lord and relying upon God. What were the consequences of that choice?
· He put his affairs in order, took a vacation and spent loads of time with his children.
· The family pulled together to help him deal with the crisis.
· The church and the community began visiting and offering assistance of every kind.
· He began reading His Bible and came to know God, to really know God as few of us do.
This young man really changed and as he changed, his courage became a witness for the family, for the church and for the community. One Sunday morning we all had a chance to celebrate and cry when he and seven members of his family came to our church to be baptized. Over the next few months, his life became a testimony of courage and faith in the midst of catastrophe.
It was a difficult year, but the medical profession was able to control his pain and provide a hospice program to help him spend his final months with dignity. He died surrounded by his wife, his children and his closest friends. The funeral was attended by hundreds of people all over the county who had been touched by his courage. When the service concluded we bowed our heads and listened to “The Dance” by Garth Brooks. The final words still burn in my heart:
“I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance.”
“If I walk in darkness without one ray of light,” describes an experience you will likely undergo at some point in your life. The question is during your inevitable dark periods… what choices will you make? Will you choose to miss the pain and end your life’s journey never knowing how the dance will end? Do you have the courage to choose enduring the temporary darkness by putting your trust in a God who promises to in due course restore you to everlasting light?
The choice is always yours.
If you know someone who seems depressed and talks about suicide… believe what you are hearing and seek help. If you are thinking of taking your own life… STOP and think again.
Think about two children without their mother on Mother’s Day.
Think about a young man who set an enduring example of courage and faith.
Then cling tightly to the lifeline extended by God’s answer: “If I walk in darkness without one ray of light… let me trust the Lord, let me rely upon God.”

So I found this on the net one day and I decided to keep it. Even if you don't believe in God, this is a powerful message. Lately I had been thinking of the choices that we make in life. They all carry a consequence. Even though I have many mistakes in my life, I have been fortunate enough to get second chances (sometimes more then second, more like thirds) with the people that I trully care about.
One thing we need to realize though is that there might not be a second chance one day and what counts ultimately are your actions and not what you say. If you take the path of least resistance all the time, you might not have much at the end. If you take the path of least resistance your life can be cut short and it is not worth it. It is better to look forward to the unknown and embrace your opportunity to live as you wish. The choice is up to you.
I want to thank the people that still believe in me and love me...even when my imperfections have affected their lives directly and indirectly.
Here is to ....choosing to be a better person every day for the rest of your life!!!